


Silence and Letters

by fourredfruits



Series: Silence and Letters [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-10
Updated: 2019-03-10
Packaged: 2019-11-15 02:07:49
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,104
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18064526
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fourredfruits/pseuds/fourredfruits
Summary: Five reads "Extra-Ordinary : My Life as Number Seven" by Vanya Hargreeves.





	Silence and Letters

There were a few things Five kept going back to about the day he left and he undoubtedly had an unhealthy amount of time to do just that. Usually, Five liked to consider himself above making regrettable choices, as many in his family were prone to, but that day was like a nasty stain on his otherwise impeccable life choices. He didn't even regret his choice about becoming a ruthless assassin under the Commissioner because that was the best -only- chance he had back there. Why regret something uncontrollable? He might be the most brilliant and gifted individual in the history of the planet but he was not almighty. He did what he had to.

He often thought about Reginald Hargreeves and what the old man said about his power which sounded suspiciously well-informed in retrospect. He also spent long hours thinking about the things he could have done to prevent himself from being locked up alone in the apocalyptic world. His behavior was reckless to the point of stupidity which took years for Five to admit. It hurt his pride immensely even after that.

He thought about his siblings too. Were they really siblings or simply kids who all happen to be the victims of Hargreeves' disgusting little experiments? He could never really tell.  
He saw their grown-up bodies under the piles of concrete and dust so he knew that they would be fine, at least until the day they’d all die together in the place they called home -except Ben who seemed to have died years before. He wanted to mourn for Ben but he couldn't imagine death being that much worse than this -absolutely nothing- so he thought better of it. He thought, maybe for the first time, he might want Klaus’ ability then Ben might have kept him company because he was loyal like that.

He was worried about Vanya though. He could not find her anywhere but it wasn’t a surprise given that she never really belonged in the Academy. She was ordinary but being ordinary was in itself special enough in the Hargreeves. Seven was entirely different from the rest of the household. One could almost say that the word 'ordinary' was defined through her presence.

_She is only distastefully weak._

Reginald had once said when one of the kids asked him why Number Seven did not show up for dinner. As with most things the man had said, it was a horrible thing to say to his adopted child but nonetheless true.

Vanya was, well, weak. For one, she needed to be medicated all her life and it started ever since he could remember. She cried when Diego stepped on ants for god's sake. He could see that she sometimes felt too much and it hurt her deeply. Not as often as Five did-because he was a cold son of a bitch who did not give a shit about them-but whenever their dad noticed it, intense disapproval would etch itself between his white brows. Those were the only times he would call Vanya alone to his study and then her eyes would grow distant again.

He had left her alone and it bothered him more than he'd like to admit. He imagined Vanya lonely and desperate in that huge mansion. He would have protected her but now that he was gone, who would? She needed him. She needed him but he could not go back. He hated himself even if it was a flitting moment.

He found her book in the ruins of a public library whose columns still stood oddly gracefully. A few days before, he had been reading whatever articles and documents were left about the Umbrella Academy and learned its existence. This copy was in such good condition it was impressive, its covers still glossy and shiny, luckily kept away from damage and dust because it was stuck between a sturdy set of encyclopedias written in Chinese. It seemed someone had misplaced it, probably out of spite.

 

 

> _……I would stay up late waiting for him. The lights in my room had to stay off because Dad did not like it when I expressed my worries, concerns and sadness over Five’s disappearance. Dad despised seeing emotions on my face so I had to learn how to control them and I had to learn in a highly unpleasant way……_
> 
> _……I was downright miserable there but could not make myself leave in case Five came back out of blue, like he always had before that day. He was still that little boy in my head and inside it, I watched him a thousand times, standing alone in my empty, dusty and abandoned room, calling my name or anyone else’s, but everyone had already left including myself and he would walk away again…..._
> 
> _……It shattered my heart into pieces._

It felt like getting messages and codes from the outer space, maybe a planet several galaxies away so that millions of years had passed before they had finally reached its receiver. He felt unbearably old all of sudden.

 

> _……I loved him and it was possibly the only thing that kept me through the cold nights in the mansion on which my mind became deeply disturbed and I could feel myself only a step away from falling off the edge. Because if both Ben and I were gone when he returned, who would make him a sandwich in the middle of a night when he got too wrapped up in his new fascinating discoveries?_
> 
> _……Please, come back or if you are reading this and do not want to come back, I will understand but please at least let me know that you are safe._

Something burned inside him. He tried to stop his hands from shaking because Dolores was watching and she might be worried but _fuck,_ he couldn’t help it. It wasn't Vanya who needed him. Maybe she did but it didn’t matter because he needed her much more desperately. He needed her, right here, right now and he was going mad with it.

“Shit,” he laughed out loud, rubbing his cheeks. His hands came out wet. It had been exactly eleven days since he’d last heard his own voice. He’d been talking to Dolores the last time.  
Vanya had tried her best to protect him even after he left like that –like he did not know it would devastate her if he did not make it back and he knew it would, he only never doubted that he could come back, even if not to the Academy but for her-.

“I have to go back.”

And he would.


End file.
